Sometimes I've found myself wallowing in frustration, despair and even anger, because of some of the accusations against me. I find myself wanting to make sure everyone is aware of my innocence. I find myself very defensive and trying to make my image look good; to clear my name.
Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth. Sometimes they just refuse to even try to hear the truth. They believe what they believe and just won't have anything to do with actual facts. To them, knowing the truth isn't important. Sometimes, I think if they knew the truth, then their image would be tarnished and they don't want that...and they know that if they accept the truth, then they'd be admitting to a mistake on their part.
It can be frustrating, right? When you know you've done nothing wrong and the person is refusing to hear the truth?
Well, I have at least 2 situations in my life right now that are like that. I have people believing things about me that are just not true. But something I came to grips with a few months ago and that I have to keep reminding myself of is this:
1. One day the truth really will be known, whether it's here on earth, or when they face God in heaven.
2. God knows the truth and that is all that really matters.
3. I have done everything I can do make things work...to love the other person(s) and for the things I did do wrong, to make them right. (Apologizing and promising to be different).
When a person refuses to forgive, or let the other person move on, it's a loss for them. I have had to learn to not live with guilt. In one of these situations, I DID do something wrong...I said some things that were not godly, that were not thoughtful, and were mean and ugly. When I realized where I went astray, I tried apologizing and making things right with the person I wronged. But the apology (from what I can tell) was not taken well at all.
I often sit around trying to figure out what else I did, or feeling guilty for what I did wrong. Often the guilt drives me crazy, because I feel like I messed up a relationship that could have been completely awesome. I feel guilty over and over and over again. I have literally let it drive a wedge between my husband and I at times. I have let the guilt and frustration take over.
But the other day, when I was praying about the whole situation, God reminded me that HE forgave me. That I had come to Him, asked His forgiveness and had done everything in my power to make things right. He reminded me that what was important was the forgiveness I had received from HIM. I was so thankful for that reminder, because what matters is that I'm right with God...not humans. It's good to find forgiveness with the humans in your life; not saying that we shouldn't seek forgiveness from the people we wrong. We should, most assuredly. But seeking God's forgiveness and love is what counts.
God told me that to live with the guilt after asking for His forgiveness is to live as if His forgiveness meant nothing to me.
So when you do something wrong, make sure you make it right with the person you wronged. Ask for God's forgiveness. Then move on! Even if the other person doesn't choose to forgive, you can live with freedom of conscience, know you've done the right thing and that God is pleased with you.
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