Choosing Joy

Lately my life has been, lets say, challenging. Things seem to just keep happening that cause stress in my family's everyday life. It's been one thing after another.

This past week alone has held a serious eye injury for me, a car wreck that my husband was in, a loss of a job, our rent paycheck bouncing because our bank decided to take a gas charge out that had been charged over a month ago (for some reason it "slipped thru the cracks" and didn't actually post; we learned our lesson. Document every single charge we make on our debit card so we know exactly what we have in the bank). Then another bill saying we owed literally 5x the amount that was really due. Yeah, we did finally get it fixed, but only after spending literally 4 hours on the phone with the company, plus lots of stress and frustration. Then another bill from our apartment complex, saying we owed fees for something that we don't owe. Then, even small things like breaking a glass on the carpet, shattering small shards everywhere... I have two small children who play on this floor all day, every day. Yes, I was a panicked mother. Then my hubby's last pair of good jeans getting a huge rip on them.  And then on top of all of that, my two year old son has had a fever for the past 3 days, and my 8 month old daughter has decided that she is a night owl and refuses to sleep at night. In fact, right now she is fussing, in her swing. It's 12:28 am...she still hasn't slept at all tonight. LOL

So there is my past week in a nutshell. My life has been like this; maybe not quite as intense like this past week, but I don't think I'd be exaggerating to say that it's been crazy like this for at least 2 years now. Literally.

So often I want to crumble. I want to just break down in tears, and sometimes I do! Sometimes I just wanna go bury my head in the sand and imagine that the world doesn't exist. Sometimes I dream of going to sit on some beach somewhere, way far away, with just my small family (or maybe just my hubby? Grandparents can babysit the kids, right?) . I want a sun-hat, a beach umbrella, some suntan lotion, a towel and a good, good book. Maybe that Ina May Gaskin birthing book I've been wanting to read for almost 3 years now. I'd like to have a huge jug full of ice cold lemonade with those pretty little umbrella "toothpicks" they put in drinks sometimes. And maybe a good long nap. Like a nap that lasts a week. :)

But then again, time and money for that doesn't exist. So what do I do? What are my options? My brain often thinks about this. My options are few, but at least that keeps my tired brain from having to think too much about what I should do. Here are my choices:

1) Crumble. Have no faith in God. Get angry. Turn inward. Give up.

2) Choose joy. Choose faith in a God who never lets me down. Be peaceful. (let me just say here; I'm no angel when it comes to any of this. Trust me. Or ask my poor hubby who has to deal with my mini break melt downs.) Keep going and best of all; find positive in everything. Also, when and where you can, encourage others.

Now, for me, I have made both of those choices. The first one is real easy to "choose." That is the more natural one for me. It's really easy for me to just give up. But when I find myself stooping to those low choices, either my hubby, or one of my parents, or a friend will remind me to snap out of it and choose the life of Love, Joy and Peace.  It's challenging, no doubt. But I'd rather challenge myself to be a follower of Jesus, than fall into self-pity and faithlessness.

Jesus never said this life would be easy. He never said we wouldn't have obstacles. He never said we wouldn't cry, or have problems. But what He did promise is that He would be faithful to walk beside us, to encourage us, and even carry us when we can't put our foot in front of the other. He is faithful. He loves us and He will never cease to amaze me with His awesomeness.

Ok, so now that I told a lot of negative, I want to share what God did to bless me, and to prove to me His never failing love and blessings!

First off, He provided a free ticket for me to be able to attend the PINK Impact 2013 that my church is preparing for April.
My husband got accepted into college with the full amount of financial aid provided!
With a bill that we "owed" 5x the real amount; God worked it out where our account ended up being credited over $100 towards our next bill!!!! So our next bill is already taken care of. Amazing, right?

Anyways...God is good. He will bless those who put their trust in Him. So keep trusting. Keep following. Keep loving. Never, ever give up!