Challenges of Marriage

I've been married over 3 years now. That's not much, I know. But there are some things I've learned in my engagement and marriage to my husband.

I think anyone who has challenged themselves to be in a relationship and marriage knows that it's not always smiles and roses. There are times when you just want to walk away, give up, and move on. Then there are times you are head over heels in love and can't imagine being without them.

I try to hold onto the times I'm head over heels in love and can't imagine being without them feeling when I am going through a rough patch in my marriage. Marriage is for better or for worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health. It's important that we hold onto our vows and respect them. They're there for a reason. When we make a commitment, it's only honorable and right to keep that commitment and do whatever it takes to bring it to pass. Marriage is a life long commitment. I don't know if this is wrong or not, but I try to not think about the "life long" part, because if I think about all that I might have to go through, and overcome, I get really overwhelmed. But it's when I take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour, I can make it. I focus on what is at hand, I focus on my husband, his needs, his wants, his desires and give myself to fulfilling the vow I took.

In marriage, we often face difficulties we never imagined. For me, we've faced a miscarriage, job loss, having no friends, moving 4 times in the matter of about 1 1/2 years, injury, being away from each other for weeks at a time while he was in military training, etc. In the midst of all this, there are other factoring problems that come into play when these issues arose.

Oh and another: Children. When children are born within marriage, it often brings problems to the marriage. It doesn't have to, but often times, it does. When a baby is born, parents often focus on sleep, eating and sleep and eating and house cleaning, and work. Time for the relationship goes out the window. That is when the challenges take place of making time for each other.

For my husband and I, we focus on getting the children to bed a little early so we can settle down and eat dinner together, watch a movie or TV show and cuddle. It doesn't always go down as planned though. Children cry, get up, fuss, need diaper changes, need a hug, kiss or another drink. We often find ourselves shaking our heads in disappointment. Tears even come sometimes. We just want quality time together. Should that be so hard?

But what matters is that the effort is there. Tempers still flare at times, voices snap at each other when a feeling gets hurt, tears still stream down a face when a well thought out date night at home doesn't work out as planned. When it is all said and done, what matters is that each person knows that the effort was made, the love was there and the relationship was built.

Of course, there are a lot more things that matter in a marriage. But that is all for today. My children need me and there are laundry piles to be folded and put away and a sink full of dishes left to be washed. But remember, always focus on your family. The laundry can wait, the dishes will still be there, but what is important is that everyone feels loved, cared for and appreciated.